My husband and I have been living in a home that is somewhat 3 bedroom 1 bath, it is a pretty old and run down. I don't even like to clean my house because I do not like it. I find it difficult to enjoy cleaning something that will be ugly when I am done.
I am at a point in my life where I am ready to find a home that I enjoy.
We have been searching and looking for a place to rent and in our area there isn't a lot to choose from. So we keep patiently waiting. I am seriously struggling here internally. I want to know why I haven't found something. I want to know why I am paying twice in daycare expenses than what I can currently afford in our home.
I just keep thinking God has this, this is in His time frame, I know He has a plan.
I find myself constantly doubting those statements on a daily basis. Because my walk with God is not where it should be am I struggling believing that He is there? Am I struggling because I keep feeling like He doesn't have mine and my families best interests at heart? Is the unknowing of where we will end up the hardest part?
In the end I keep going, I bring the positive energy back into our home. Deep down inside I struggle with the worry of not knowing if things will get better for us. I strive to be positive to always see the bright side of things, I strive to be sure that I point those things out to other people but lately I have been unable to convince myself that the positive outweighs the negative. At what point in life do you get to a place of contentment and how can you tell the difference between being content and settling?
Here is what I leave you and me with today;
Make sure that your character is free from the love of money, being content with what you have; for He Himself has said, "I WILL NEVER DESERT YOU, NOR WILL I EVER FORSAKE YOU,"
Hebrews 13:5
